Analyze a specific conflict you have had or continue to have with a specific person. Your relationship to this person may be ongoing or in the past. You must incorporate course concepts and terminology from the text in your analysis and self-reflection. The questions in the outline below serve as a guide for your thorough responses; however, you may include additional information as applicable.
I.
Overview (1 points)
A. Briefly describe your relationship with the other party.
1. Where and how did you two meet?
2. How long have you known each other?
3. What is the current nature of your relationship?
4. How would you describe your relationship now, compared to
when you first met?
II.
Nature of the Conflict (1 points)
A. What are the “triggering events” that brought this conflict into mutual
awareness?
B. What is the historical and cultural context of this conflict?
C. How is the struggle expressed by both of you?
D. Has the nature of this conflict changed over time? If so, how?
E. Has this conflict become destructive?
III.
Interests and Goals (3 points)
A. What are the perceived incompatible goals?
B. Have you noticed your goals changing since the beginning of the
conflict?
C. What are the topic, relational, identity, and process goals?
D. Are the identity and relational issues the “drivers” of this dispute?
E. What would you like to see come from this conflict?
F. Are there others who have become involved in your conflict? Do others
feel they need to take sides in this dispute? How did they influence your
decisions and behaviors?
G. How do you feel about the conflict?
H. How do you think the other person feels about you?
IV.
Power (2 points)
A. How much power do you feel you have?
B. How much power does the other person have?
C. Who do you think has more power? Who does the other person think
has more power?
D. How do you think these perceptions of power affect the conflict?
E. What currencies do the parties see themselves and the other
possessing?
F. What evidence of destructive “power balancing” occurs?
G. What are some unused sources of power that are present?
V.
Styles (2 points)
A. What individual conflict styles do you use? What is the other’s style of
conflict?
1. Avoidance – minimize open discussion of the conflict
2. Domination – one person wins, the other person loses
3. Compromise – you and the other person give something up in order to reach an agreement
4. Integration – working together to find solutions that benefit both
parties
5. Obliging – avoid asserting one’s own needs and preferring to cooperate
B. What tactics do/did you both use? How are they impacting on each other’s’ choices?
VI.
Conflict and Emotion (2 points)
A. Choose several emotions the parties have expressed in this conflict. What are the functions of these emotions? How are they mitigated or moderated?
B. Do the feelings cluster around “needs being met” or “needs not being met”?
C. How did you and your conflict partner express your anger?
D. How could you manage your emotions better?
E. Discuss how parties might use positive emotions to help in this particular conflict.
VII.
Assessment (3 points)
A. What system dynamics characterize this conflict?
B. What triangles, coalition, and microevents best characterize the conflict?
C. Is the conflict repetitive? If so, how?
D. What would you like to see happen?
E. Did you or the other person change behaviors during this conflict? Who or what influenced this? Why do you think this happened?
F. Has there ever been a conflict that has not been resolved in the earlier
stages of the relationship? What was this impact?
G. What do you think will happen to the relationship in the future?
VIII.
Solutions (2 points)
A. What options have been explored for handling the conflict?
B. Have third parties been brought into the conflict? If so, what roles did they pay and what was the impact of their involvement?
C. How might the situation have been handled better?
D. Can you think of any solutions that were not tried? If you were to have a “do-over” what additional resources might you need?
IX.
Prevention (4 points)
A. Knowing what you know now, do you think this conflict could have been prevented? If so, how?
B. Would a third-party have been helpful?
C. What communication skills might help you better manage conflict in the future?
D. What lessons have you learned to carry forward?