People chances to making positive change

 

 

You have a very good draft. Below I have provided some feedback to consider when making final revisions to your assignment. The feedback is based on your responses/questions along with other needs I feel important to mention. If you have any questions after reviewing my feedback, let me know.

Your thesis statement (Life challenges affect people, but they give people chances to making positive change only when they are approached positively.) just needs to be reworded a bit sentence structure and clarity. Example: While life challenges may affect people negatively, they also give them chances to make positive changes if approached in an optimistic way.
**I just changed words to avoid redundancy and rephrased a bit to more concisely/clearly state the focus. Of course this is just an example for you to consider when revising.

The introduction paragraph is a bit confusing and needs some rewording/revision to improve flow and understanding/clarity. I think it may just be a matter of you leaving out some words or miswording a bit. I suggest reading it aloud to see if you can catch anything you misworded and revise accordingly. The content is good. It just needs to be clearer so that the reader can more easily follow your line of thinking.

The body paragraphs/main points seem clear and flow smoothly. My only suggestions is to consider working in one or two direct quotes. You do a good job of summarizing and paraphrasing from sources, but including direct quotes can add another level of credibility to a research assignment. You also do a good job of crediting sources with in-text citations. You should read the body aloud as well, though, to make sure you haven’t misworded anything when drafting in a hurry. It is always a good idea to read a assignment multiple times to check for errors. This applies to grammar/mechanics, too. Your grammar/mechanics mostly look good to me, but, as with the content, it is a good idea to give the assignment a good read-through for proofreading errors as well.

Your works cited page and formatting look good. You probably have already done so, but be sure to remove the question that you included at the top beneath the title and clean up the title to only include the actual title.

Sample Solution

Contained three organizations, confidential property, markets and firms, entrepreneur economies are described by confidential responsibility for merchandise, which are coordinated for use in firms, to create yield. Private enterprise is generally liable for monetary development on history’s ‘hockey stick.’ While some could contend that private enterprise goes back much farther than the sixteenth hundred years, the renowned nineteenth century market analyst Karl Marx recognized the modern insurgency of England as the beginning of private enterprise. Consequently, I will begin by involving the English Modern Unrest to act as an illustration of how free enterprise ‘makes sense of’ the ‘hockey stick’ model. He likewise perceived private enterprise as a venturing stone in the movement of humanity, as such, he connected it with improvement. There is a significant relationship between’s the increment of Gross domestic product per capita on history’s monetary hockey stick and the development of an English industrialist society. How much, be that as it may, was private enterprise a causal component of England’s initial monetary turn of events and the ‘disparate exhibition’ of economies inside England?

England’s modern and mechanical upsets happened simultaneously as fast urbanization. Countless individuals ran from distant rustic regions into large urban communities to secure better-paying positions in firms, generally working in plants. This period saw the shift from limited scope family-run organizations to firms run by proprietors and supervisors who utilized workers. This presentation of the establishment ‘firms’ into the economy, establish the groundworks for free enterprise. Simultaneously, the “mechanical change” which England experienced during the eighteenth hundred years, upset the creation cycle of overwhelmingly materials, energy, and transportation. As efficiency took off, the costs of produced products plunged, emphatically upgrading interest for English merchandise around the world. The finish of protectionism, when import charges on global labor and products safeguard homegrown enterprises from unfamiliar rivalry, transformed England into a streamlined commerce state. By the late eighteenth hundred years, this had an immense effect alone on the upwards ‘wrinkle’ on the ‘hockey stick model.’ The worth of English products rose from £15million in 1760 to £59million in 1805. Hardware, for example, the turning jenny, which empowered the client to create numerous spools of string all the while, emphatically expanded the amount of a solitary day’s result. This new innovation drove workers working for firms to ‘represent considerable authority in errands’ along the creation line. Workers who center exclusively around one undertaking produce more, these are the ‘gains from specialization.’ This really intended that from a solitary day’s worth of effort, firms not just created more confidential property for in-market deal yet in addition needed to buy more capital great to fuel their creation cycle, consequently supporting different firms. This interconnection between the three organizations, confidential property, markets, and firms recognized private enterprise. In this manner, one can affirm that an entrepreneur financial framework was active at

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