It is perfectly normal to feel attracted to a client at some point in your career. After all, clients are human beings, and human beings are attracted to each other. However, it is important to remember that the therapist-client relationship is a professional one, and any sexual or romantic attraction between the therapist and client is unethical and potentially harmful.

If you find yourself attracted to a client, the first thing you should do is acknowledge your feelings. Don’t try to deny them or push them away. Once you have acknowledged your feelings, you can start to develop a plan for dealing with them in a healthy and ethical way.

Here are some things to keep in mind:

• It is not your client’s fault. Clients are often vulnerable and may be seeking help with issues that make them feel ashamed or inadequate. It is important to remember that your client is not responsible for your feelings of attraction.
• Your client is not your peer. The therapist-client relationship is a power imbalance. You have more power than your client, both because of your professional role and because of the information that your client has shared with you. It is important to use your power ethically and responsibly.
• Sexual contact with a client is never acceptable. Even if your client is attracted to you and initiates sexual contact, you must refuse. Engaging in sexual contact with a client is a serious ethical violation and could result in the loss of your license.

If you are struggling to deal with your feelings of attraction to a client, it is important to seek help from a supervisor or other trusted colleague. They can offer you support and guidance, and help you to develop a plan for maintaining professional boundaries.

How to respond to a client who reveals an attraction to you

If a client reveals that they are attracted to you, it is important to respond in a calm and professional manner. Here are some tips:

• Acknowledge their feelings. Let your client know that you understand and accept their feelings. This does not mean that you have to reciprocate their feelings, but it does mean that you should treat them with respect.
• Set clear boundaries. Remind your client that the therapist-client relationship is a professional one, and that any sexual or romantic attraction between the therapist and client is unethical and potentially harmful.
• Explore the client’s feelings. Try to understand why the client is attracted to you. Is it because of your professional role? Your personal qualities? Something else? Once you understand where the client is coming from, you can start to address their feelings in a therapeutic way.
• Refer the client if necessary. If you feel unable to maintain professional boundaries with the client, or if the client’s attraction to you is interfering with their therapy, it is best to refer the client to another therapist.

Here is an example of how you might respond to a client who reveals that they are attracted to you:

Client: I’m attracted to you, Dr. Smith.

Therapist: I understand that you’re feeling that way. I want to assure you that I appreciate your trust, and that I will always maintain professional boundaries in our relationship.

Client: But I really like you.

Therapist: I like you too. But it’s important to remember that I’m your therapist, and that our relationship is a professional one. Any sexual or romantic attraction between the therapist and client is unethical and potentially harmful.

Client: I understand.

Therapist: If you would like to talk more about your feelings, I’m here to listen. But if you find that your feelings are interfering with your therapy, I may need to refer you to another therapist.

It is important to be patient and understanding if a client reveals that they are attracted to you. They may be feeling embarrassed or ashamed. It is also important to be firm in setting boundaries and maintaining the professional nature of the relationship.

Additional considerations

There are a few additional things to keep in mind if you find yourself attracted to a client or if a client reveals that they are attracted to you:

• Be mindful of your body language and tone of voice. Make sure that you are communicating in a professional and respectful manner.
• Avoid physical contact with your clients. Even a handshake or a pat on the shoulder can be misinterpreted.
• Be careful about sharing personal information with your clients. It is important to maintain a professional distance.
• Be aware of your own biases and vulnerabilities. If you are struggling with personal issues, it is important to seek professional help. This will help you to be more objective and effective in your work with clients.

If you are unsure about how to handle a situation involving attraction to a client, it is always best to consult with a supervisor or other trusted colleague.