Growing up, I was always aware of a looming presence that hung over me like a cloud. It was an unspoken pressure to excel in everything I did; the expectation of being “exceptional” due to my race. At school, this manifested itself as never-ending comparisons between myself and my white peers who seemingly had it all figured out—why couldn’t I be like them? This feeling of inadequacy followed me well into adulthood, leading to anxiety about not measuring up or succeeding as much as those around me.

It wasn’t until recently that I began to understand the source of these feelings and how to overcome them. The first step for me was recognizing the impact this internalized self-doubt had on my mental health and well-being. Once I started becoming more aware of my thoughts and emotions it enabled me to re-frame them in more positive ways. For example, instead of seeing someone else’s success as confirmation that I wasn’t good enough, they became evidence that hard work pays off – motivation for me to keep moving forward towards my own goals (Lambert et al., 2020).

I also acknowledged that black exceptionalism is a myth; there is no such thing as perfect or flawless people regardless of race (Lambert et al., 2020). We all make mistakes-and have areas where we need improvement – but ultimately it is our resilience in facing challenges head on which makes us exceptional (Lambert et al., 2020). Through this process of self-reflection and personal growth, am now able to navigate life with more confidence knowing that perfection is never the goal – only progress is.