ubler-Ross (2005) states that the five stages of grief, have evolved since their introduction and have been very misunderstood over the past decades. She goes on the say that they were never meant to help tuck messy emotions into neat packages. We can apply some of the stages of grief to C in that she has experienced anger, mainly at herself for putting her children in a position where violence was occurring in her relationship and being in a place emotionally where she felt she needed drugs and alcohol to cope but mainly not being the parent that her children deserved. She has experienced an initial denial when the children were first placed with social services and again when they were put up for adoption and she has experienced depression. In relation to the baby that died the stages of grief can be seen although not in their entirety, some denial or disbelief may have been present when she received the diagnosis of Edwards syndrome, however, from her disclosures it seems quite matter of fact, the baby was ill and a decision had to be made and while she moved forward quickly, I am unsure if she has truly accepted the loss yet. It is also possible to relate the five stages of grief to N as she too experienced an initial denial when the children were first placed with social services and again when they were put up for adoption. Anger is also evident and she has expressed that she felt angry at herself for allowing herself to stay in a violent and controlling relationship she also feels guilt in relation to this. It is not clear however that bargaining took place nor acceptance and this is an area for further exploration and work.

The dual processing model also referred to as the Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement by Stroebe and Schut (Death Studies, 1999), is a natural process that helps us to find a balance between facing the reality of the loss (loss-orientation) and learning to re-engage with life after the loss (restoration-orientation). It is in finding the balance may explain why grief is often described as an emotional roller coaster. Many people experience a back and forth between both loss-orientation and restoration-orientation responses, for example moving between classic grief reactions, crying, anger, depression etc. and learning how to manage finances, form new relationships and taking on roles that the dead person may have done, for example looking after the children. It is in the restoration-orientation phase that grieving people may focus on day-to-day tasks and get temporary relief from the emotional drain of the loss. It is possible to get a s