y Dad missed birthdays and Christmases due to his extreme mood swings. By the time I reached 10 I was used to this and it became the normal routine. Sometimes I wouldn’t see my Dad for weeks, although he would be under the same roof. At times I could be talking to him, but it would be like talking to an empty shell, with no emotion or attachment. This caused me to put up a wall between him and I and this resulted in our relationship deteriorating. As long as I can remember my Dad suffered from this illness. From a young age I tried to understand what it was like for him to feel manic then depressive. When he was manic, he had endless reserves of energy requiring little or no sleep. Unrealistic goals and ideas, not to mention the countless promises he made but couldn’t keep. However, what goes up must come down and when the emotion, money and energy was spent everything would crash to the floor and he would disappear into a pit of depression that could last up to a couple of weeks.

As a young child, having a bipolar parent left me feeling insecure. Never being able to navigate the emotional parameters I would face daily. It could also be a day of unpredictability, irrational behaviour, or verbal abuse. As a teen, having a bipolar parent made me angry and detached. I was angry at the times he couldn’t be there for my birthdays and Christmases. I was angry at the total disrespect he had for my mum and I and I was angry that he could never take responsibility for his actions. I learned at a young age to emotionally detach myself from the unstable and chaotic environment. Living with a bipolar parent for 16 years has been extremely painful. There were a lot of sad times. I had to work hard to accept my Dad for who he is- I know he loved me through the good and the bad periods I have worked hard to understand people who suffer from mental illness, they are not in control of their brain processes and don’t choose to be that way. I have also developed a deep interest in psychology which I hope to pursue as a career. My relationship with my D